I've got a few girlfriends having babies ... again. As in they're expecting baby number two, a few friends expecting baby number one, but mostly friends expecting baby number two. I get asked what has been the big differences between the first and second babies, so I thought I'd put a list together - you know how much I love lists.
1. You're not to keen to be holding something 24/7 again
Unless you're expecting child is very close in age to your first, most likely your first has learnt to walk, well they're definitely not fragile infants anymore. This is something that I forgot, then quickly realise after I came home with baby number two. I forgot what it's like to be holding something all the time. Sure I can't put the baby down, but they're so fragile especially those first few weeks so you, or someone is always holding that newborn.
2. You stop knowing milestones
With my first baby I was always on Essential Baby or some other parenting site comparing my son's progress with the expected milestones for his age. With my second child I didn't seem to care, as long as they're healthy and thriving, that's all that matters. I even forgot when immunisation shots were due.
3. You stop being a helicopter mum
My first child I was always watching over him. I would stand close by when he's playing, shadowing him where ever he went to play. With my second child I'll walk him over to the gated play area, let him in, go somewhere within view, sit and be alone for a few minutes. I let my second eat what ever he finds on the ground (like I can stop him), and I don't change him into a new outfit unless he's made a big mess of what he's currently wearing.
4. You stop worrying about everything
With my first child I freaked out over the smallest rash, racked my mind why he wouldn't eat a particular food anymore, or hung on to every word a friend said about whatever subject I was seeking some advice about. With the second child you realise half the things you worried about are really unnecessary, but just part of your first time parenting experience.
5. You stop pretending
For me personally, after having my first baby I felt some sort pressure that I've got "it" all together. That everything was going good, baby was breastfeeding, baby was sleeping the prescribed number of hours, baby was hitting milestones etc. I realise now this was just some self inflected pressure on myself. When I had my second child, I realised half the things I worried about were so irrelevant, so I stopped pretending. I started being honest and admitted if my baby doesn't sleep well, I shared when the days of elbow deep in parenting was tough, and as a result I got more support, I felt more empowered and mindful of how I parent.
If you're wondering what to expect with two kids, I did do a post on that a while ago. You can read that post here.
What are some of the differences you've noticed between having one versus two children?
